Mum Guilt Is Real – Here’s How To Overcome It
Working mums, stay-at-home mums, new mums, singles mums – the one struggle you may all have in common is mum guilt. Mum guilt is a real and pervasive feeling of guilt, anxiousness, stress, or shame that arises when you start questioning if you are doing enough as a mum or making the right choices for your child. Here are some common situations you may find yourself in where mum guilt can rear its ugly head and, most importantly, how to overcome it.
Am I doing this right?
Especially for new mums, it’s easy to spiral into asking yourself if you’re doing everything “right.” Is this how I handle a tantrum? Is my kid on the iPad too much? Should my baby be crawling by now? Am I working too much?
Solution: Trust your instincts and intuitions and just go with them. If you’re stuck on something, do your own research or join a supportive mum community that can help guide you.
Should I go on this girls’ trip?
Being a mum is a 24/7 job, but that doesn’t mean that you need to be fulfilling everybody else’s needs and ignoring your own. Always, always, always remind yourself that when you take time for yourself, you are benefitting the entire family.
Solution: Take that weekend girls’ trip. Go to the salon for a few hours. Read a book alone for 30 minutes. You’ll enter back into mum life recharged and ready for whatever is thrown your way.
This mum’s life looks perfect online.
When you’re scrolling on Instagram, you may see smiling mums and children, spotless houses, and picture-picture family vacations. What you don’t see are all the toys on the floor pushed out of the photo or the tantrums that were thrown the entire car ride to the beach.
Solution: Remind yourself that social media is fake, limit your daily social media time, or take a long break from social media altogether if you start comparing.
Should I bother them for help?
As mums, it’s not uncommon to feel shame when asking others for help. You may tell yourself they have their own kids to worry about, they were at work all day, you’re being a burden… When these intruding feelings cause you to not ask for help and try to tackle everything at once, it may be a recipe for disaster.
Solution: Call your friends and family to see who would be happy to help out with what type of activities. This way, you know exactly who to call when you really need extra hands on deck.