As a parent and primary care giver, theres no doubt that you are the most important person to your baby. Your baby’s relationship with you begins in pregnancy – with them learning the sound of your voice, you feeling them grow and move, and you imagining a future together. Following their birth, your relationship continues to grow as you get to know each other through your touch, observation, play, and outpouring of nurturing, love and attention.

It’s no conincidence that you might find your babies face to be endlessly mesmerizing, those chubby legs irresistible to squish, or those soft cheeks to be a magnet for your kisses. You are hardwired to enjoy and soak up each others company, and if you work towards building a beautiful rapport with each other early on, chances are that you will be setting your child up for success across many aspects of their life including their academic performance, their self esteem, confidence, ability to trust, stress management, social skills and their relationships.
Developed by Psychiatrist John Bowlby in the 60s – the concept of attachment refers to the ‘lasting psychological connectedness between human beings.’ And in the case of early parenthood, it relates to the bond that we develop between a caregiver and a baby. Children come into the world biologically pre-programmed to form attachments with others, because this helps them to survive and ultimately to develop and thrive. Infants have inborn behaviours such as crying, coo’ing and smiling that stimulate caregiving responses from adults. Creating a secure, loving and consistently responsive base for your baby is the aim. This ensures that they feel comfortable, safe, and confident to explore and play a little, knowing that they can come back to you for nurturing, support and encouragement.
There is no such thing as a single correct way to form a secure attachment. It’s really about a combination of watching, attending, copying, and responding warmly, sensitively, and predicatably. These things don’t have to happen all of the time. And if you are both having fun, you are doing it right.

Here are five ways to start building a beautiful bond with your baby.

1. Become a sensory detective.
   Notice, learn and respond to your babies behaviour – their sounds and movements to signal a need for food, cuddles, sleep, burps, farts, curiousity or play. A scrunched face, tight closed fists, yawns, smiles, gurgles or cries are all signs and signals of your babies needs, interests, or state of mind. By watching what your baby is watching and mirroring theirmovements and sounds, you are showing you baby that you are present with them, that they are important and accepted. This builds a sense of security and self worth over time.

2. Connect through Touch.
   Gently stroke or massage your baby during nappy change time, bath time, or play time. Or hold and cuddle your baby during sleep or play time. Hearing your hearbeat, smelling your scent and feeling your skin is all reassuring, relaxing and comforting for them. It can help to regulate their heart beat, their temperature and breathing, and even help to stimulate digestion after a feed.
3. Lock eyes with your baby.
   People are social by nature and our brains are built to communicate with each other even with our eyes! When babies and caregivers look into each others eyes as they talk, sing or make facial expressions, this stimulates babies brain activity, strengthens their feeling of connectedness to us, and teaches them the connections between words and feelings.
4. Talk, sing, laugh and play with your baby.
   Hearing your soothing, reassuring tones, the rhythm or melody of a song, you talking about what you are doing, or telling stories in an expressive voice, not only helps your baby to recognize the sound of your voice, but also helps to soothe them, and teaches them language as they develop. Similarly, when you see signs that your baby wants to play, enjoy time exchanging smiles, funny faces and silly sounds together.
5. Be dependable and predictable
   Offer sensitivity and comfort when your child is sick, hurt, or upset. Be nearby when your child is trying new things. When your child sees you as their reliable and safe place, they can feel confident to explore a little on their own, to learn new skills, knowing they can return to you for security and comfort when they need it. Routine also helps them to feel secure. Whether it’s for meals, bedtime, or any other regular activity, routine helps your child establish self-discipline and security and leads them to becoming more independent.

2. Connect through Touch.
   Gently stroke or massage your baby during nappy change time, bath time, or play time. Or hold and cuddle your baby during sleep or play time. Hearing your hearbeat, smelling your scent and feeling your skin is all reassuring, relaxing and comforting for them. It can help to regulate their heart beat, their temperature and breathing, and even help to stimulate digestion after a feed.
3. Lock eyes with your baby.
   People are social by nature and our brains are built to communicate with each other even with our eyes! When babies and caregivers look into each others eyes as they talk, sing or make facial expressions, this stimulates babies brain activity, strengthens their feeling of connectedness to us, and teaches them the connections between words and feelings.
4. Talk, sing, laugh and play with your baby.
   Hearing your soothing, reassuring tones, the rhythm or melody of a song, you talking about what you are doing, or telling stories in an expressive voice, not only helps your baby to recognize the sound of your voice, but also helps to soothe them, and teaches them language as they develop. Similarly, when you see signs that your baby wants to play, enjoy time exchanging smiles, funny faces and silly sounds together.
5. Be dependable and predictable
   Offer sensitivity and comfort when your child is sick, hurt, or upset. Be nearby when your child is trying new things. When your child sees you as their reliable and safe place, they can feel confident to explore a little on their own, to learn new skills, knowing they can return to you for security and comfort when they need it. Routine also helps them to feel secure. Whether it’s for meals, bedtime, or any other regular activity, routine helps your child establish self-discipline and security and leads them to becoming more independent.

Some challenges to building secure attachment with your baby
Typically a secure attachment bond will develop naturally without an issue. However if you or your baby has experienced any trauma, health, environmental, or developmental related challenges along the way, your ability to focus on one another, may be a little delayed or interrupted. It’s important then to get the support you need from a paediatrician, a mental health specialist, your GP or someone trained in early intervention to help you identify and correct the issues so that you can move forward. The sooner you seek support the faster you can focus on yourself and your baby.
If you would like some support to help you navigate parenthood and further strengthen your bond with your baby, connect with Kirsty or Lana at The Parents Village in Sydney